Blake Bliss - 'Beyond Bliss' (Please Watch & Share This Video)

New Love

I met someone a couple months ago. I had seen him before, but now we have some of the same classes. We have fixed seats, he is right in front of me. I couldn't miss him. We started talking. He made me laugh, he helped me when he saw I was struggling, he teases me, but in such a way I like him even more. And now I can't stop thinking about him. I only see him on Monday and Wednesday. In the days I don't see him, I can't help it but miss him. I don't see him as a possible boyfriend. But.... There's something about him.
In some way... I love him.

The Choice

I keep having these dreams.

The first happened a couple of weeks ago. I was at a party in a garden with a lot of people. I'm sitting on a table with my boyfriend on the other side. I'm talking to the man of my dreams and suddenly he tells me he wants to be with me. He comes closer. He's so close, that all I want to do is kiss him. I want to be with him. But then I see my boyfriend in the corner of my eye. I want to tell the man of my dreams I have a boyfriend, but then I wake up.

Would I have told him? Would I have chosen my boyfriend? Or would I give in and kiss the man of my dreams? I saw the vulnerability in his eyes. I didn't want to hurt him. Hurting him would kill me.

Then yesterday I dreamed I was camping with someone from my class. We grew closer. We kissed. It felt so right. Impulsive. I followed the path of someone I wished I'd be, not who I am. Someone stole his camera and I went after the thief and got it back. I was so proud. I wanted to show him what I was capable of. I wish I had more courage, that I took more risks.
But I can't be like that all the time. 

Who do I want? Who do I want to be?

I have to choose.

Influence

I watched this show were people had to live in one house for a couple of weeks and I saw this guy. He reminded me of someone I used to like. And love. He used to tell me about all the parties he went to. I didn't go to a lot of parties. I knew, that if I drank one drink to many, I would probably wake up the next morning in his bed. I get drunk so easily, I can never trust myself with it. So I don't trust people who drink. I have seen so many guys change under the influence of alcohol, I hate it. It destroys who you are.

But then again, if I drank and I let myself go, I would stop thinking and just do. If I saw a guy that was my type and got to know him that one night, I wouldn't think. I would sleep with him and maybe regret it the day after. But what if I didn't? What if I had no regrets? I would do it again. What if that night had to happen, for greater things to happen. What are the odds on meeting someone like that and it turning out you're perfect for each other? Whatever attracted me to him, did so for a reason. There is a reason for everything. What has to happen, happens.

 
Only by the Night
 

What does it mean?

I had this dream two nights ago. I was on my bike and in front of me, there was this guy 50 meters away from me, also on a bike. I said something to him and he said something back, but he didn't slow down. I tried to reach him, but he was too fast. We followed this path of white/beige gravel to a train station. You could only reach the station if you went down an endless amount of stairs. You couldn't go down with your bike, unless you knew how to. There were parts where it went downhill without stairs, so you could go down easily, with a lot of turns. But you could only do that if you had already done it before. I looked for the fastest way down and found this little road without stairs which gave me the chance to reach the station in only 3 meters. I found him standing on the train, so I ran to him, but the train was already moving. Then suddenly, I saw this women point a gun. I screamed and tried to warn him, but I woke up before anything happened. Talk about a cliffhanger.
But what does it all mean?
Am I never going to reach a curtain goal or person?
Will I find obstacles on my path and overcome them or be too late?
No matter how hard I try, will I loose sight of this person I love?
Is something going to happen to this person or am I willing to give my life for him?
What am I willing to do for the one I love?

Love, one grey area.

I asked my bf about what he would do, if his significant other would steal his stuff after their divorce. He immediately answered that he would call the police. The love would be gone. It seemed an easy decision.
But are decisions ever easy when love is involved?
He saw everything in black and white. But with love it's one big grey area.
With love there are no quick solutions.
We get hurt and it clouds our judgement.
Our heart breaks and so does our mind.

Love, it blinds us.

I got up this morning and saw a video about someone who recently got divorced (see previous posts). He was away for a while and came home today to a emptied house. His ex-wife took all her stuff but also his TV, camera and bed. He trusted her and she violated that trust. How can someone you love do such things to you? It hurts like hell. She isn't answering his calls or emails. He wanted to be friends, after the divorce. He still loves her and I understand that. You don't stop loving someone in one second, when you've been together for so long. He offered to support her financially for the time that she was going to be stay with him in his house, she turned it down. He offered to give her an amount of money every month, to help her out. And he's still going to do that. Even after she stole some of his stuff.
Why?
Love.
It blinds us.
It kills us.
But it can also make us feel alive.

You're the only one who can fix me

My boyfriend showed up at my door unexpectedly. He said he told me last week, but I guess I forgot. I told him about Onision's divorce and I asked him if he still thought we were compatible. He smiled, hugged me and gave me examples of why we are compatible. He's just so sweet and I think that's why I think we'll make it through this.
It's showing up when I need him the most.
Being there for each other.
Saying the right words.
He's the only one who can fix me.

The end of love?

Recently I saw that a couple that was married for 5 years, filed for divorce. I was shocked. I was speechless. They looked so perfect for each other and now they discover they aren't compatible? After 5 years of marriage? It makes me wonder. If they split up after all they have been through, what is the difference with my relationship? I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. What if the same happens to us? Did we wast our time? Is it worth all the pain we will cause? We are going through some hard times now, with school and the holidays we aren't spending together. I fear we aren't going to survive this. I know we can, but will it happen?

Without light

I used to be afraid of the dark. I feared the unknown. I had small lights in my room, otherwise I couldn't go to sleep. I still love the little lights. Christmas decorations, candles and even the blue light from my hard drive. It can change the mood completely.
Without light, there is no color.
Without light, you cannot see. 
Without light, we cannot be found.

Snow #2

I'm so sorry

Some time ago I discovered a new band and since then I haven’t stopped listening to them when I’m on the road. Now I found out it’s pretty much one guy who did all the instruments and vocals himself and that’s just amazing.
Yesterday I found his Facebook and Twitter. He said about a week ago he and his wife were expecting a baby. But yesterday he told us they had lost the baby. My heart just crumbled. I am so sorry. I can’t help but feel so terrible about this. I don’t really know them, but I’ve been listening to his music for so long now and I watched all his video’s on Youtube. And now I feel so sorry for him. I can’t get it out of my head.
I told my bf and he just changes the subject and talks about the presents he wanted.
A terrible thing happened and you don’t even care? What if it happened to you?
I care. I would be crushed if it happened to me.
I don’t know if he was being a DB or he wanted to change the conversation to something more positive. I couldn’t think of anything else. I’m just so sorry.

Winter Time

Sunset

Sunrise